Limiting beliefs usually masquerade as unconscious assumptions about ourselves or other people. It takes humility and self-awareness to identify these assumptions.
Limiting beliefs hook us and prevent us from being the best managers and team members we can be.
When we have limiting beliefs about ourselves, we avoid taking risks, experimenting, and learning. We try to protect ourselves from disappointment and failure instead of leaning into growth.
When we hold limiting beliefs about others, especially as their managers, we unintentionally block their growth. This can lead to a cycle of demotivation in our team members.
Examples
Mindy Zhang
Limiting belief about myself:
When I first became a manager, I didn't think I was visionary. I saw a lot of leaders in tech with bravado, standing at the front of the room, pitching their big ideas. I didn't resonate with that style. When my manager asked me to create a vision document, I felt really nervous and uncomfortable. So I told myself "I'm not a visionary leader."
As a result, I avoided any projects related to vision setting. And therefore, I avoided learning the skill.
Limiting belief about a team member:
I had a direct report who was very sociable on calls. When we jumped onto calls with partners, she would spend the first 10 minutes chatting them up, talking about their weeks. As someone who likes to cut right to the chase, I told myself she was scattered and couldn't keep meetings on track. Over time, I realized that this was actually her superpower— building trust and rapport by getting to know someone personally before diving into the work at hand. It made her influential and creative in her work relationships. If I held onto this limiting belief, I would've undermined one of her greatest strengths.
As a result, I formed a bias and felt impatient in meetings with her. Even though I tried hard to hide it, the impatience was palpable.
Notice the belief and writing it down. Don't criticize yourself for having limiting beliefs; we all do.
I am not a visionary leader.
Separate observations from interpretation. Observations are things we can record with a video camera or sensations we notice in our body. Interpretations are the meaning that we layer on top of these observations
When my manager asks me to create a vision document, I feel nervous, tense, and uncomfortable.
I interpret this to mean that I'm not good at being visionary.
Brainstorm alternative possibilities that are more positive and helpful. One way to do this is to shift from negative language to positive language.
I want to learn how to create a compelling vision.
Choose to test these alternatives to see if they might be true or more true than the belief you started with.
I can find a mentor to give feedback as I create a vision document.
Naming and reframing isn't about denying our beliefs and wearing rose-tinted glasses. It's about getting curious and realizing that multiple things can be true at once. That way, we don't give into bias by only seeing one facet of the situation. Our weaknesses and strengths are often two sides of the same coin, and there's value in seeing both sides.